WHAT IS THE FIRST STEP TO CHANGE?
To Accept Our Responsibility for Our Anger since we created our anger from our judgments that somethings needed changing. Those somethings may have been us.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
* We Surrendered Our Healthy Boundaries!
* We Tried to Convict Others for Their Errors!
* We Tried to Avoid Our Responsibility for Our Anger!
* We Thought that They or We "Should" Not Do "That"!
* We Thought that They Shouldn't Violate Us.
* We did a "Should" on Ourselves or Them.
* We chose not to forgive.
* We chose not to protect ourselves or others.
* We did not really believe in letting our Higher Power do the "convicting".
* We chose to do the "Blame" game.
* We did not yet have the skills of the "Same" game. The Same game is where we consider everyone the same as us.
Some representative same game and "Sane" game skills are in the How to Transform Angers chapter.
Suppose there is a fast moving person that thinks others "should" also move fast. Then when a slow moving person does not do something fast enough, for the fast moving person, the fast moving one yells to speed up the slow moving person. The fast one's anger is attempting to change the slow moving one. The slow moving one could use their authentic anger to respond that they are moving at their own pace. They could ask that the fast moving one learn to accept their speed and that they would continue to accept the fast moving one's faster speed. The point is that authentic anger is appropriate for protecting one's boundaries.