RBD's Different Kind of Therapist's Hint of the Day for this Week

RBD's Wholeness Consultant's Hints for Fellow Travelers on The Road to Recovery for 20 to 26 July 98.

Published Last Week. A daily hint published each day since June 1996. This is my second year anniversary since starting this site. Page Down for the next days that are added a day at a time. I have moved to http://recoverybydiscovery.com and this daily page is now here at https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com/daily.htm . I would appreciate any feedback, questions and suggestions that you have.

What I am going through now is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a "disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community. Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM can shut down communication with those seeking temporary assistance and spread the stigmas of mental illness. The DSM can also bring some comfort by telling some that others have had the same experience. I am adding additional comfort by pointing to some ways to start getting out of the "disorders". I am not writing about cures. I am writing about how the cure process works over time. Instantaneous cures can be as traumatic as the original event that generated the disorder or illness.

20 July 98

Another break from the "disorders" of the DSM-III Desk Reference.

I just added the following to my health part of my bookstore:

Eat Right 4 Your Type: The Individualized Diet Solution to Staying Healthy, Living Longer & Achieving Your Ideal Weight by Peter J. D'Adamo M.D.. I believe and have seen that this is a significant book in the long story of healing. Some doctors finally noticed that there are some differences due to blood types, differences that can be used to our advantage. These differences explain why some diets only work with some people and do not work with others. There is a comprehensive list of foods that are optimum for each blood type and neutral and difficult.

21 July 98

"302.83 Sexual Masochism" is defined as a person with sexual urges to be

"humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer" as a part of their sexual

acts for over six months. A desire to have themselves punished. A self created

hell on earth. What kind of unconscious guilt would drive someone to an urge to

degrade themselves so? It has to be an unconscious urge that is becoming conscious

through the sexual urges. A way to get pleasure out of their pain. An opportunity to

start getting pleasure out of their pleasure. By that I mean that there always is an

opportunity to create something better for the highest good of all concerned.

Someplace inside there is a crossed wire where pain was wired to give pleasure.

Someplace inside there is a connection to guilt to assuage. That is where the atonement

is needed to rewire pain as pain and pleasure as pleasure. That is where the acceptance

of the atonement is needed to let the guilt go.

This pattern of the martyr is common in ordinary relationships. The pattern is just

easier to see in more extreme cases.

22 July 98

"302.84 Sexual Sadism" is defined as a person with sexual urges to cause the

suffering and humiliation of others as a part of their sexual acts for over six months.

Gee, there is a lot of that going around that is not sexual. Or perhaps it is sexual

and they do not recognize the thrill they get out of humiliating others and causing

others to suffer. How about the bosses that humiliate those they boss and cause

those they boss to suffer. How about the bossing both ways, that goes on in marriage

relationships. There can be enough suffering and humiliation. Many may even not

recognize that they are causing others to suffer and humiliating them in "normal"

sexual acts.

The desire to hurt others stems from a desire to hurt yourself. In fact that is

a way to ask for hurting back. Hurting in the long run produces healing. Hurting

is one of the steps in the grieving process. The deep down desire is really for

healing. The deep down desire is really for loving to be the balm that heals. We

all have these deep down desires. Becoming conscious of our deep down desires

to be healing and loving are our spiritual treasures. Who has not seen a tragic case

among us and not wanted to be able like Christ to reach out and touch them and

heal them?

23 July 98

"302.20 Transvestic Fetishism " is defined as a male heterosexual with sexual

urges to cross dress as a part of their sexual acts for over six months. I wonder

why this definition did not include females. Perhaps because some females do

get a thrill from cross dressing. The difference is that this cross dressing is supported

by many stylists. That is less true for men. The real truth is that most of us have both

masculine and feminine characteristics in a single sex body. A few have both sex

physical characteristics. An outer expression of an inner truth. This truth is also

expressed as men age and become more nurturing grandfathers and women age

and become more strong grandmothers.

Knowing this is an opportunity to develop the best of both masculine and feminine

characteristics. Many females need to learn how to be more assertive so that they

can live a less angry life. Many males need to learn how to be more nurturing so that

they can live a less angry life.

Why are both sexes cross dressing in the first place? First there is the truth behind

the dress to express their hidden side and second there is the excitement from eating

the forbidden fruit. This is an opportunity to be still and become more aware of who

we really are. This is an opportunity to let the inner suppressed part start to become

a known part.

24 July 98

"302.82 Voyeurism" is defined as sexual urges to watch others in their sexual acts

for over six months. Here we have someone getting excited watching others that are

excited. Perhaps they are afraid to be directly involved. Perhaps they do not feel

worthy to be directly involved. A variation on this theme is where they pay to watch.

What is the difference when they are paying to watch violence or scary things in movies?

Like any addiction we are seeking excitement. We are seeking an experience of spirit.

That is because the natural experience of spirit is exciting, thrilling. Realizing this, we

could use our experiences of excitement to get more in contact with spirit. The danger

is that our forms of excitement may change. Danger can be exciting.

25 July 98

Another break from the "disorders" of the DSM-III Desk Reference. Today I am

ordering another book for my library. It is What's Your Type?: How Blood Types

Are the Keys to Unlocking Your Personality by Peter Constantine. The books

A Path to Healing and Eat Right 4 Your Type both start to describe how each

blood type has a personality type associated with each blood type. This book goes

into greater detail. Although we are more complex than this, this is a good place to start.

Some people seem to also fit their astrological profile. In addition we also can be

described by a variable percentage of the 9 enneagram types. This tells me that we

are definitely more vast than any simple system. However, I believe that healing the

blood type personality first could be of tremendous benefit. I'll rate this book and

tell you more, after I get this book and evaluate it. When you click on the book

above you will find that it was given 5 stars, the highest rating by one customer.

Today I found it was given 1 star because they thought it was a "rip off" of an

earlier book. That issue is between the two authors and the two publishers.

26 July 98

Back to the "disorders" of the DSM-III Desk Reference. Today it is "302.90

Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified" that is is defined as sexual urges to need

something else than has been previously mentioned in the DSM in their sexual acts

for over six months. Reminds me of the catch all clause in the Uniform Code of

Military Justice. That is where anything "they" say brings an unfavorable light on

the service is cause to try you. Here the DSM has examples of needs like talking

dirty over the phone, corpses, parts of the body, animals, feces, urine, and enemas.

Actually it does not matter what the unusual need is. The needs are just a reflection

of a spiritual need to get clear of the needs. Clear of the need means freedom from

the need. In fact some religions define freedom from all sex as a height of attainment.

To get there they try the common sense response of "Just Say No". And in a few

cases that may work by saying no enough times. And in saying no enough times they

do not become more spiritually alive, they become more spiritually dead. And they

may have not solved their problem. Scratch them deep enough and the lust and

anger may flow through the dam they built. The way of the ascetic rarely works in

real life. Finding your way to a God that always says yes or later by saying no is

not likely to work. Tomorrow, what is more likely to work.

Your Different Kind of Therapist,

Michael Foster, M. A.

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

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I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

I am including Sunday as it is my formal day of learning the lord most high's secrets. If you would like ask questions, or contribute some of your wisdom, or want to make some comments or want to vote for which day to put on my tip of the month page or tell your success stories, click Michael Foster, M. A.