Steps on the Road to Recovery

Steps On the Road to Recovery for 28 December 1998 to 3 January 1999.

Published Last Week. A daily hint published each day since June 1996. This is past my second year anniversary since starting my web pages. Page Down for the next days that are added a day at a time. I have moved to http://www.recoverybydiscovery.com and this daily page is now here at https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com/daily.htm . I would appreciate any feedback, questions and suggestions that you have.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: FOR ANYONE THAT REQUESTED MY MONTHLY E-MAIL LETTER SINCE 1 AUGUST, PLEASE SIGN UP AGAIN, I HAD TO FORMAT MY HARD DRIVE AND START OVER AGAIN, AGAIN AND LOST SOME ADDRESSES.

What I am mainly going through now is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a "disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community. Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM can shut down communication with those seeking temporary assistance and spread the stigmas of mental illness. The DSM can also bring some comfort by telling some that others have had the same experience. I am adding additional comfort by pointing to some ways to start getting out of the "disorders". I am not writing about cures. I am writing about how the cure process works over time. Instantaneous cures can be as traumatic as the original event that generated the disorder or illness. Instantaneous cures may not do us any good, when we get the same disorder back, since we have not changed the thought system that caused the disorder in the first place.

28 December 1998

Today I am writing something about my father. He recently left

to visit my spiritual father and it is our custom to write something to

say at our grave sites. This is what I have to say:

It was my intention to do all my grieving, while my parents were with

me. I got to tell them how much I love and appreciate them. They are still

alive in my spirit. In fact they are more alive to me, since the last of the

barriers that we have here, are not there now.

My father was a person of few words and so am I. I am a bottom line

kind of speaker and writer. That way, I can get it all said, in few words, and

so did my father. I always listen to more to how people walk, than how they

talk. I listened well to my father's talk, because his walk matched his talk.

He was a warrior, in the highest meaning of that walk. The highest warriors

are about protection. He once told me of his fierce love of his children. It

was when me and Barbie were getting too close to the edge of a swift and

deep river and he realized just what he would do to protect us. We can all

be grateful to the many warriors that have protected us and left us a better

world. The best way to honor them, is to continue to make this a more

peaceful and fun world. The best way to do that is to start with ourselves.

My father thought that we had no choice in the cards that we are dealt.

He needed that thought, to get him through some of the rough cards in the

last world war. It is more important what we do with the cards, that we

are dealt. My father showed me how to do well with his cards. The only

philosophical difference we had was that I believe we can change our

decks to better decks.

My father taught me early to be able to see both sides of any issue and

to learn to be more objective. He would take any side with my Uncle Doc

and they would have a spirited discussion and then they would go on to enjoy

something to eat and drink together. He taught me we do not have to agree,

to love each other.

He continued to teach me how to love better. I watched him with his

grandchildren love them more. I watched him with his great grandchildren

love them even more. He taught me some of how to grow in love. He was

changing the decks to higher decks.

His body is being buried near my mother near a statue of David. David

made mistakes and yet he was after God's heart. This was another man after

God's heart and mine.

29 December 1998

Now we are on to the "Adjustment Disorder" chapter of the DSM. This

is all about what they describe as an "excessive" reaction to stressor(s). To

get this label you need react within three months, mess up you life, and get

over it in less than six months. They have other labels for over six months.

When our symptoms are "nervousness, worry, and jitteriness" we can get

a "309.24 Adjustment Disorder with Anxious Mood". So then we have too

much energy that is not yet integrated. If we integrate it in less than six months

we avoid a worse label.

When our symptoms are like "depressed mood, tearfulness, and feelings of

hopelessness" we can get a "309.00 Adjustment Disorder with Depressed

Mood". If we get over our grieving in less than six months we avoid a regular

depression label.

We can qualify for a "309.30 Adjustment Disorder with Disturbance of

Conduct" when we act out to hurt others and or violate rules of society. We

may avoid prison and worse labels if we get this label and treatment and get

over it in less than six months.

Notice that these are the same symptoms we have been looking at before.

There is just a difference of degree. The recovery processes are still the

same.

30 December 1998

Let's look at the rest of the "adjustment disorders". Next there is "309.40

Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Disturbance of Emotions and Conduct".

Here we have added things like mania and or depression to our bad conduct

metal. When we drop the bad conduct metal and just have lesser forms of

the mania and or depression we qualify for a "309.28 Adjustment Disorder

with Mixed Emotional Features". They call it anxiety instead of mania, but

anxiety is just low level mania from my point of view.

When we can get our symptoms out of our head and into our body with

physical symptoms like headaches and backaches and other aches we can

get a "309.82 Adjustment Disorder with Physical Complaints". The

physical complaints are another form of a difference between what we

have and what we want. Another form of anger, a complaint, from my

definition of anger. When we are showing our anger by withdrawing we

can get coded "309.83 Adjustment Disorder with Withdrawal". When

we are mad enough to not work or study we can get a "309.23 Adjustment

Disorder with Work (or Academic) Inhibition". Our anger does not have

to be from our conscious consciousness. Some part of it will be from our

unconscious consciousness. And of course we could get labeled by the

catch all "309.90 Adjustment Disorder Not Otherwise Specified".

Does it really matter what we get labeled? I do not think so when we

remove our own labels with forgiveness and understanding and acceptance.

31 December 1998

If insanity is an adjustment disorder, is sanity adjustment? I do not

think so. Then what is sanity? One definition can be understanding the

paradox that we love and accept everything as it is and yet continue to

work on improving everything. We have resolved much of our anger

when we have come to love and accept everything as it is. Once we do,

then everything changes slowly. Changing slowly is a very good thing.

Changing too fast can create more problems than the original problems.

Do we have to love and accept everything all the time? Of course

not. Just loving and accepting everything for 15 minutes a day will

improve our world. The more people that take more time to love and

accept everything each day the more love and acceptance we have

here and now. The more love and acceptance we have here and now

the more love and acceptance is creating more love and acceptance.

The more love and acceptance that is here the more everything changes

to better.

1 January 1999

Happy New Year. Another day to start over. We have 365 days

to start over this year. Enjoy.

Today we are starting on so called "personality disorders." You

have to have a long term challenge to get these codes.

"301.00 Paranoid Personality Disorder" is a good one to start

with. Fear is the basic. Fear has my same definition as anger. That

is "energy we create from a difference between what we have and

what we want". It does not matter what part comes from our conscious

thinking and what part comes from our unconscious thinking. Of course

this suggest that it is helpful to clear up any unconscious thinking.

To qualify for this code we must get four of the following symptoms

right. :))

One is to expect harm or exploitation, without evidence.

Another is to question loyalty without evidence.

Another is to add meanings to events and remarks without evidence.

Another is to be unforgiving without present evidence.

Another is to fear confiding in others without evidence.

Another is to be easily angered by the slightest slight.

Another is to question fidelity of partners without evidence.

The same comments apply to all of these. Where is that expectation

coming from? This fear is coming from our unconsciousness to our

consciousness. What this fear is lacking is accuracy and verification.

This fear is accurately telling us what is in our unconsciousness. Even

if we are resonating with what is in the unconsciousness of others we

are still picking up what is in our unconsciousness that is not serving us

well. To serve us better we need more accuracy. The more clear and

peaceful we learn to make our consciousness the more accurate our c

consciousness becomes and the less we need the warnings. This also

applies to all of us.

2 Jan 1998

Today is "301.20 Schizoid Personality Disorder" day. To qualify

we must have a pervasive pattern of being perceived as being indifferent

to social relationships with little emotional expression beginning in early

adulthood. We need to qualify for at least four of the following:

1. Does not want close relationships including family.

2. Usually chooses solitary activities.

3. Rarely has strong emotions.

4. Rarely desires sexual relations.

5. Indifferent to praise or criticism.

6. No close friends except close relatives.

7. Rarely shows emotions by face or body.

Like everything else, it depend. The family and available friends may be

difficult and getting close may be unwise. Hence a need for solitary activities.

Strong emotions and their expression and sexual expressions may be dangerous

in this family. This family may have major manipulators and we can not be

manipulated when we are indifferent to praise or criticism. In fact learning

how to be indifferent to praise or criticism is a spiritual skill. So, it depends,

and there are degrees of all of these patterns. Someone with these patterns may

be a good candidate for spiritual recovery. It depends.

3 Jan 99

With "301.22 Schizotypal Personality Disorder" we need to get at least

five of the following relating pervasive deficits starting in early adulthood:

1. "ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference)" is what they wrote.

I would appreciate some assistance here as to what this means. Some

examples would help. Perhaps this is about who we think we are. I wonder

how some doctors can tell when they are still working on who they are.

2. "excessive social anxiety..." is a little easier to understand. How much is

excessive and how unfamiliar people need to be is somewhat harder to

understand. :))

3. "odd beliefs or magical thinking..." is easy to understand, especially with

examples like clairvoyance, telepathy, sixth sense... Of course the definition

of odd is left up to the coding doctor. When the doctor is an advanced yogi

they might code "odd" as not having these talents. :0) It all depends.

4. "unusual perceptual experiences..." like perceiving your dead mother.

Again this depends on the doctor's frame of reference and culture. For some

it may be "odd" that you are not perceiving who else is there. :))

5. "odd or eccentric behavior or appearance, e.g., unkempt, unusual mannerisms,

talks to self" is the next qualifier. Again the frame of reference is relevant. Some

cultures could be described and unkempt and unusual mannerisms. Those that

talk to themselves may be the sane ones. :))

6. "no close friends or confidants (or only one) other than first-degree relatives"

may be an indication of the relatives and available friends. This does not take

into account spiritual connections where the close friends and relatives may be

not relevant. :))

7. "odd speech.." again depends on the listener"s ability as well as the speaker's

ability.

8. "inappropriate or constricted affect, e.g., silly, aloof, rarely reciprocates

gestures or facial expressions, such as smiles or nods" again depends on the

point of view of the coder. Reciprocal gestures and facial expressions are

about someone who wants rapport. They may not want rapport. The coder

may not want rapport and often does not. That is part of why more "cures"

do not happen. I am not sure what is "wrong" with silly or aloof when that

is what they want to express.

9. "suspiciousness or paranoid ideation" is again fears. We all have various

amounts of fears, some of which are accurate information.

Perhaps these symptoms qualify this person for somethings the doctors

do not know much about.

Very Respectfully,

Michael Foster, MA

Mental Health Coach

https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com

Coachemail

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

If you would like a free monthly newsletter with coach's hints on a single subject, click RBD's Free Monthly Newsletter Registration Form.

I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

I am including Sunday as it is my formal day of learning the lord most high's secrets. If you would like ask questions, or contribute some of your wisdom, or want to make some comments or want to vote for which day to put on my tip of the month page or tell your success stories, click Michael Foster, M. A.