Steps on the Road to Recovery

Steps On the Road to Recovery for 18 to 24 January 1999.

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What I am mainly going through now is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a "disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community. Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM can shut down communication with those seeking temporary assistance and spread the stigmas of mental illness. The DSM can also bring some comfort by telling some that others have had the same experience. I am adding additional comfort by pointing to some ways to start getting out of the "disorders". I am not writing about cures. I am writing about how the cure process works over time. Instantaneous cures can be as traumatic as the original event that generated the disorder or illness. Instantaneous cures may not do us any good, when we get the same disorder back, since we have not changed the thought system that caused the disorder in the first place.

18 Jan 98

Today we are continuing our long description of a "301.83

Borderline Personality Disorder".. This is a scientific name

for what we normally call "frustrating people". We frustrate

ourselves because we want to help them recover, but can not

seem to help. We want to help because we all want a better

life for everyone. God wants to help because He want a better

life for everyone. The only things between our better life and

their better life is lack of enough forgiveness, acceptance with

gratitude, enough consciousness, and teamwork to make things

better. That is F = Forgiveness. A = Acceptance. C = Consciousness.

T = Teamwork. FACT. The key is forgiveness because that

leads to more acceptance, consciousness and teamworking.

Now back to the DSM with "301.83 Borderline Personality Disorder".

This is another mood disorder that they detect from relationships and self

image and the amount of the symptoms. To qualify you need to get going

by early adulthood and be consistent in different contexts. You also need

to get checked off for at least five of the following eight symptoms.

Our third chance out of eight is to be instable in our moods. We need

to shift from our normal mood to depression, irritablilty, anxiety for a

few hours to a few days. We may be coded bipolar if we do not meet

these specific criteria. All this means is that we have energy complexes

that come on us that we have not resolved by enough forgiveness yet. So,

we all need to learn the habit of forgiveness to clear as much as we can

while we are in our "normal" moods so that when we are upset by some

unconscious baggage we will continue to clear it with our forgiveness

habit.

I have never changed anyone. They all changed themselves, sometimes

from my hints. They always were the ones to decide to forgive and do

something different.

19 Jan 99

Our forth chance out of eight is to have intense anger. We need

to get into fights and frequently display our temper. Most of us do

a lower level form of this. Our fundamental challenge is to transform

our anger. "Borderlines" have a wonderful opportunity to to transform

their energy of anger into energy of healing for themselves and those

around them. In fact the more anger and rage, the more dramatic the

changes and what shows up. In fact when we are in intense rage and

have the habits of forgiveness down, spiritual experiences happen and

we have an opportunity to repent, to change our minds and have

confirmation that we have changed our minds.

few hours to a few days.

20 Jan 99

Our fifth chance out of eight is to consistently threaten suicide and

or mutilate ourselves. Just obvious anger towards ourselves. We all

have some degree of anger towards ourselves. Self forgiveness is

important again.

Our sixth chance out of eight is to consistently change our self concepts.

We need to be uncertain about at least two of the following: Self image,

sexual orientation, goals and career, values, friends. And some say we

can not really be unconscious and powerless. The fact is that all of us

are unconscious and powerless to some extent. The only difference is

the extent. The remedies are all the same.

Our seventh chance out of eight is to have chronic feelings of boredom

or emptiness. Some people do not like me telling them that they are

angry when they are bored. Are they not having a difference between

what they want and what they got? Sure. When we are empty do we not

want to feel fulfilled? Is not happiness starting with "happ" as in happen?

We really want to be living a good life filled with what we want to

happen. So, one way to help ourselves is to start to make what we really

want to happen. All of the other remedies are the same.

21 Jan 99

Our last chance our of eight to get the 301.83 code is to consistently

be concerned about abandonment. Of course that would come from

how empty we felt, the seventh symptom. How could these be separate

symptoms? What we are really concerned about is being separated from

God, abandoned by God. Being alone in the universe with no company to

be with us. Of course God is alone, as there is no other, other than us

others.

Once upon a time there was a vacation for spirits planet, in a galaxy

far far away. There, on this vacation planet, every wish was fulfilled

by God. God never said no, just like when they were in spirit. The

difference was that it took longer on the planet. Since it took longer,

there was no instant feedback and many people got into a lot of trouble.

That was because God never said no. You know the saying, be careful

of what you wish for. You know the story of King Midas and the story

of the three wishes of Aladdin.

After a while everyone began to stack up so many wishes, that God

fell asleep in them, just waiting to fulfil old wishes. Some, who saw

how wrong things were going, decided to wake up God in them. Then

they could now become wiser spirits as God became their teacher. He

showed them how to say no and what to say yes to. They were never

alone again as things began to get better.

22 Jan 99

Now we can move on to the next coded "disorder" of the DSM,

"301.50 Histrionic Personality Disorder". To qualify we need

to consistently have excessive emotionality and attention seeking

starting in early adulthood and have four of the eight following

symptoms.

The first symptom of eight is to constantly seek or demand

reassurance, approval, or praise. Of course we all have some of

this need for praise to some degree. When we do not need or seek

praise any more we are self realized and God realized. So, there

is a spectrum from no need to great need for affirmation from others.

When we really know we have that affirmation from God, it

simply becomes less meaningful from others. Then they can either

praise us or judge us, but it is not meaningful. We have that kind of

affirmation from God, when we accept the atonement of JC and God.

The trick is really believing that we are atoned for. The trick is

experiencing this atonement, where we are also told that God is well

pleased with us, no matter what. Of course He is well pleased with

everyone else, because He knows we are doing the best we can with

the baggage we have been carrying. As we begin to know that we

are judged as innocent by God, our need for praise or even for negative

judgment or DSM codes begins to drop away.

23 Jan 99

Let's drop DSM codes today, and consider "shoulds". Any time I

say you "should" do something I say, I am trying to control you. I am

not saying to do anything, I write here. I am just imparting information

and hints. What you do and what you believe, is what you do and what

you believe.

How can "shoulds" be a control game? When I say someone should

do different ,or believe different, than they do, there is an implied threat.

That is because, when someone tells me that I "should" do ,or believe

other than I do, there is an implied threat. There is the implied "God'll

get you, they'll get you, and or I'll get you, if you don't." The only thing

that gets us, is our judgments. It is a judgment, anytime I have some

emotions about thinking ,that anyone "should" do, or think, different

than they are thinking. Judgments are insane in a way, because I have

no control of what anyone is thinking. They have control of what they

are thinking. What they do is based on what they think. Sanity, is letting

go and letting God.

What I can do, is influence others, to influence others. That is what I

do here and in my life. That is what you do, also.

24 Jan 99 Sunday

Now that we have considered one of the reasons that we all tend

to have histrionic symptoms to some degree, we can get back to the

301.50 code.

The second symptom of eight is to be "inappropriately sexually

seductive". Of course, we all have some of this symptom, to some

degree. Who is to decide what an inappropriate level is? Does

not sex have to do with a form of control? Or is sex used to

influence others? Or both? At what level does it change from

influence to control? Perhaps, it never gets to the control level,

since the other decides, when they want to be controlled, and when

not. Does it matter if the decision to be controlled is conscious or

unconscious?

There is a saying that all things are fair in love and war. In love,

what is an inappropriate level of sex to attract love? Does the

person being attracted have the choice to leave and go someplace

else? So, the inappropriate level might be when they go after them.

What if they wanted that? Then it would be when our NO is really

a NO. When is our yes a yes and our no a no? When our unconscious

and conscious minds are in agreement. How can we know that? Is

that when we know that we know and we are clear from emotions

and thoughts that do not agree?

What about violence? Some want that. All the way from acting

to real. All the way from viewing to participating. But, that is a

subject for another day.

Respectfully,

Michael Foster, MA

Mental Health Coach

https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com

Coachemail

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

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I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

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