Steps on the Road to Recovery

Steps On the Road to Recovery for 1 to 7 February 1999.

Published Last Week. A daily hint published each day since June 1996. This is past my second year anniversary since starting my web pages. Page Down for the next days that are added a day at a time. I have moved to http://www.recoverybydiscovery.com and this daily page is now here at https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com/daily.htm . I would appreciate any feedback, questions and suggestions that you have.

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What I am mainly going through now is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a "disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community. Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM can shut down communication with those seeking temporary assistance and spread the stigmas of mental illness. The DSM can also bring some comfort by telling some that others have had the same experience. I am adding additional comfort by pointing to some ways to start getting out of the "disorders". I am not writing about cures. I am writing about how the cure process works over time. Instantaneous cures can be as traumatic as the original event that generated the disorder or illness. Instantaneous cures may not do us any good, when we get the same disorder back, since we have not changed the thought system that caused the disorder in the first place.

1 Feb 99

Before we get back to the connections in the DSM, I am writing

about some connections that I have seen elsewhere. I was

reading in John Hopkins InteliHealth.com about how some

research had discovered that PVC flooring was a factor in the

asthma of children. I also knew that the asthma of children is

about twice the rate that was in the past. I then made the connection

with the PVC plastic in our cars. Especially in new cars. Especially

in cars hot from our sun. We have so much more new cars with so

much more plastic and we spend so much more time in our cars.

Children are also surrounded by plastic toys now. I wonder how

much of that is PVC. Plastic outgasing may be a smoking gun in

the rise of asthma.

What else had changed?

2 Feb 99

I am interested in anyone else's mystical experiences. I started

a page at https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com/mystical.htm that

I would like to expand over time. So, I am interested in any links

that you know or people you know or your own experiences. There

is one link there now that can give anyone a better perspective on

how some spiritual things work. It is when we add up all our

experiences and have discernment as to where each experience

fits, then we are gaining perspective.

3 Feb 99

Now back to our personality "disorders" of the DSM. Today

we have the "301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder" where

we have enough grandiosity, we lack enough empathy, we have

enough sensitivity to the shoulds of others. We have to start in

early adulthood and qualify for at least five of the following nine

symptoms.

Our first chance of nine is when we react to criticism with

feelings of shame and rage. Our shame brings on our rage. We

all react to criticism, with some level of feelings. The only

differences are in how we react or respond. The more we do

self forgiveness, the less we are reactive to criticism. Being

coded by and expert could be taken as criticism or as a relief.

It all depends on how reactive we are. We are reactive when

we have unprocessed baggage. Our baggage energizes us when

someone gets our number. We may react with indignity because

we are not in touch with our aspect like that. But, we are in

touch when they touch our sore spots, then we feel some of what

is in our unconscious baggage. That is our opportunity to do

self forgiveness for the name that triggered our reaction from

rage to minor irritation.

Remember, any criticism is only an opinion. The opinion is

either not accurate and therefore we have no reason to upset

ourselves. Or the opinion is accurate and then is only feedback

on what we need to forgive ourselves for.

However, when the criticisms are given behind our back and

we find out later, that is a different case. Then when the criticism

is not accurate, our energy that comes up needs to be used to put

things straight. With enough self forgiveness we can straighten

out things in wiser ways. When the criticism is accurate, there is

nothing left to do but forgive ourselves enough, until the criticism

is no longer accurate. We could thank the person for assisting us.

4 Feb 99

Our second chance of nine is when we take advantage of

others. That is where we are going for a win and we expect

the other to lose. You know, like in sports, business, war, and

conditional love. You know, what most of our world teaches,

our families teach, our teams teach, our businesses teach, our

religions teach. This one could be easy, since we are taught

so well.

We are taught so well to sabotage ourselves. What would

be wiser to teach is the philosophy of win - win. Sports could

be more about enjoying our playing. Cooperative competition

actually works better than competition, in the long run. Going

for a team win in business by cooperating with what is actually

has less friction and thereby more efficiency.

Religions have missed their calling by teaching the "shoulds"

of the world. They were called to teach giving and receiving

grace. Our families could teach unconditional love instead of

conditional love and ancient hatreds could be healed.

We could and some of us are doing so now.

5 Feb 99

Our third chance of nine is when we are more self important

than others can stand. This is, of course, only when our achievements

do not agree with our ideas of ourselves. Of course, they can not

stand it when our achievements are worthy. Most of us tend to think

less of ourselves, than others do. Less of us reverse this thought

and think more of ourselves than others do. Neither thought is

accurate.

First, we are not our achievements. Many over achieve because

of feelings of poor self worth. Many under achieve because of

feelings of poor self worth. Some achieve because of feelings of

high self worth. Some under achieve because of feelings of high

self worth. It depends. The joke is that we all have the same worth.

We all are children of the most high. The only differences is the

amount of baggage we carry. The joke is that our baggage is our

treasure. As our baggage is transformed we begin to know who

we are and who others are.

Second, we are human beings, not human doings. Our being is

worthy by the works of our spiritual father, not by our doings.

The only error a narcissistic person makes is to not think the

same about others like their lord most high within does. All others

are also worthy.

6 Feb 99

Our fourth chance to get five of nine is when we believe

that our problems are unique and can only be understood by

other special people. We can all qualify for some degree of

this belief. That is because there is some truth to the fact that

others can not understand without some experience of what we

are going through. That is usually true of many doctors, even

though they have special training. What they and others do not

have is direct experience and or enough empathy to understand.

We are all looking for understanding. When we are truly

understood we are loved. That is why we are all looking in some

form for God. God understands and loves us. Even though we

can not see God and may not believe in God, God can see us and

believe in us. Knowing that God can understand and love us until

we are face to face can be of great comfort.

7 Feb 99

Our fifth chance to get five of nine is when we "are preoccupied

with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal

love. This one is easy for all of us. We all have our ideal dreams and

we are in contact with our ideal dreams to some extent. These ideal

dreams are the dreams of our lord most high within. The difference

is usually that our lord most high within includes doing the highest

good of ALL concerned. The difference is usually that in order to

really have a good life we need others to have that good life with us.

There are levels of preoccupation with our ideal dreams. We

are usually somewhat removed from contact with our dream life due

to the life we are leading. One of the ways to start going towards

our ideal dream is to get more in contact with our ideal dream and

also become more aware of where we are in the process. Then

with a high goal all we need to do is set daily goals to get there.

It is important to set our daily goals as easy to do goals. That way

each day is a success. That leads to more success.

Have a successful day,

Michael Foster, MA

Mental Health Coach

https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com

MentalHealthCoachemail

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

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I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

I am including Sunday as it is my formal day of learning the lord most high's secrets. If you would like ask questions, or contribute some of your wisdom, or want to make some comments or want to vote for which day to put on my tip of the month page or tell your success stories, click Michael Foster, M. A.