Steps on the Road to Recovery

Steps On the Road to Recovery for 25 to 31 January 1999.

Published Last Week. A daily hint published each day since June 1996. This is past my second year anniversary since starting my web pages. Page Down for the next days that are added a day at a time. I have moved to http://www.recoverybydiscovery.com and this daily page is now here at https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com/daily.htm . I would appreciate any feedback, questions and suggestions that you have.

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What I am mainly going through now is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a "disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community. Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM can shut down communication with those seeking temporary assistance and spread the stigmas of mental illness. The DSM can also bring some comfort by telling some that others have had the same experience. I am adding additional comfort by pointing to some ways to start getting out of the "disorders". I am not writing about cures. I am writing about how the cure process works over time. Instantaneous cures can be as traumatic as the original event that generated the disorder or illness. Instantaneous cures may not do us any good, when we get the same disorder back, since we have not changed the thought system that caused the disorder in the first place.

25 Jan 98

Today we are continuing our long description of a "301.50

Histrionic Personality Disorder". This is a scientific name

for what we normally call "insecure".

The third symptom of eight is to be "overly concerned with

physical attractiveness". Of course, we all have some of this

symptom, to some degree. What is "overly concerned"? Do

our cultures have this symptom too much? You bet.

If we have no concern, we are considered to be depressed.

Where is the balance point? What if our concern is to develop

a cure for cancer and we forget all about our appearance?

What if our concern is to attract others, because our resources

are only attractiveness? It just depends.

How can we assist a society that is sick? By getting well

in spite of our society. What is well? Spiritual happiness,

spiritual wealth and spiritual health. Would we then care

about appearance? It depends, on what our mission is then.

There is no one answer, it always depends.

26 Jan 99

The fourth symptom of eight is to overly express emotions.

Of course, we all have some of this symptom, to some degree.

What is "overly express"? Is that not determined by culture?

Do some of our cultures have this symptom too much? Not

enough? Sure. Again, where is the balance point? Does it

not depend on the culture and what is really going on?

The DSM gave some examples like embracing excessively,

uncontrolled sobbing, temper tantrums.

All the symptoms of the "301.50" fit the lower levels of the

type 2 in the enneagram system. There is a continuum from the

hysterical to the empathic and altruistic. At each stage we are

good enough, since we are doing the best with the baggage we

have.

When we have the capability to be empathic, we can easily

be caught up in so called excessive emotionality. How do we

get out of being caught up in our emotions? By forgiving ALL

the names in us that trigger responses. This so called excessive

sensitivity can be a wonderful spiritual gift. We can clear things

that others would not have any way to sense. We can then

nurture ourselves and others with great sensitivity. We all have

some of this potential.

27 Jan 99

The fifth symptom of eight is to wanting to be the center of

attention and uncomfortable when we are not. Of course, we

all have some of this symptom, to some degree. We also can

have the opposite where we are uncomfortable when we are

the center of attention.

When we want to be the center of attention of others, we

really want our undivided attention. When we do not want

the attention of others, we really want our undivided attention.

That is what expanding our consciousness is about. That is

what meditation is about. Paying attention.

Here we have more clues to pay attention to. We just need

to get ourselves in our center of attention long enough so that

we will not care if we are the center of attention or not the

center of attention. Then we will have God's attention and

all other attentions will be of less importance.

28 Jan 99

The sixth symptom of eight is to have a rapidly shifting

and shallow expression of emotions. I wonder how we can

see the rapidly shifting emotions, if they are shallow. Or

perhaps, the emotions were judged as shallow, because the

emotions were rapidly shifting. The emotions may not have

felt shallow to the experiencers. The rapid shifting may have

been as much a puzzle to the experiencer as the labeling

coders.

Both were probably puzzled since some part of the emotions

were coming out of the unconscious. Of course that is a puzzle.

The good news is that some emotions were coming out of the

unconscious into the consciousness. Then we can start to solve

some of our puzzles. Our emotions coming up, come up better

when we are welcoming our emotions. Our emotions can help

us better when we are welcoming our emotions and welcoming

the thoughts behind our emotions. How else can we forgive

ourselves until we know what to forgive!

I know about shifting emotions from when I was recovering

from bipolar. I still know about shifting emotions as I feel them

more at more subtle levels now. So, when we have rapidly

shifting emotions we have another opportunity to go deeper

into all of who we are. We have another opportunity to clear

more stuff so that we can see who we are.

29 Jan 99

The seventh symptom of eight is to have no tolerance for

delayed gratification. All of us want it NOW, to some extent.

The only difference is that most of us can delay our gratification

on most things.

Some have described happiness as wanting what we have and

having what we want. That way, we have instant gratification. So,

this symptom is telling us ,we want happiness. On of the ways to

find this happiness, is to learn to turn grudging acceptance into

grateful acceptance. In fact, it would be wise for all of us to learn

how to turn grudging acceptance into grateful acceptance. One way

is to keep saying we are turning all our grudging acceptances into

grateful acceptances until we are happy enough.

30 Jan 99

The eight symptom of eight to qualify for a 301.50 is a style of

speaking that does not embellish descriptions. In other words,

plain speaking. Not only do we all do this sometimes, but most

men could qualify for at least this one symptom. This style of

speaking may just cover an emotional and an intellectual richness

within. Men, with a legacy of hunters, farmers, warriors have a

legacy of focus. This legacy tends to narrow what we see and

describe to the essentials. On the other hand, women have a

legacy of community of gatherers. This legacy tends to broaden

what they see and describe.

So, there is a scale from embellished and unfocused to not

embellished and focused. Most of us can do both, but are

uncomfortable with parts of the scale. And of course, there

is a whole distribution for both sexes. But, there is value in both

styles, for different times. When we are establishing relationships

we need to be more open and when we are doing something we

need to close down to the task at hand. That does not mean that

as we mature that we can not learn to be open and focused at the

same time. We can better do the task at hand, when we are open

to more information. Life is about lifetime learning.

When I was first married I was in awe of the amount of

information that I was not familiar with. As a grandfather I

enjoy more information. Recovery is a process, not an event.

31 Jan 99

My wife told me about a contest to write an essay about something

like: Which is more important, science or religion?

I would say neither. I would say we need spiritual science more.

We need the objectivity of science along with the way spirit works.

We need less religion where religion is still like the Pharasees in the

days of Jesus and Paul. The issue then and now is the differences

between legalism and grace. Most religions are more about legalism

and judgment and less about grace and love. That does not mean that

there are not exceptions. There are those that are known for their

loving and grace. When we are coming from loving and grace and

giving loving and grace we can more easily learn how to resolve

the issues between science and religion.

There is a good book about the differences between legalism

and grace by Ken Blue. It is called: Healing Spiritual Abuse,

How to Break Free from Bad Church Experiences.

With Freedom,

Michael Foster, MA

Mental Health Coach

https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com

Coachemail

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

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I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

I am including Sunday as it is my formal day of learning the lord most high's secrets. If you would like ask questions, or contribute some of your wisdom, or want to make some comments or want to vote for which day to put on my tip of the month page or tell your success stories, click Michael Foster, M. A.