Coach's Hint of the Day for the Week

RBD's Wellness Coach's Hints for Fellow Travelers on The Road to Recovery for 8 to 14 June 98.

Published Last Week

Page Down for the next days that are added a day at a time.

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I would appreciate any feedback, questions and suggestions that you have.

What I am going through is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a

"Disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery

aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association

uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community.

Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM often shuts down communication

with those seeking temporary assistance. That is why I am showing that

it also points to ways out of the "Disorders".

8 Jun 98 [313.21]

"Avoidant Disorder of Childhood or Adolescence" This "disorder"

is not limited to childhood and adolescence. Adults also cling to

the familiar and avoid the unfamiliar to varying extents. Perhaps the

DSM has another number for that. We all have our zones of comfort.

Some of us have wider zones. Some of us are more adventurous. Some

of us are avoiding our adventurers.

So what is the problem? There are two challenges. Someone(s) in the

family system is upsetting themselves that someone else is clinging too much

to them. The one doing the clinging is upsetting themselves about the unfamiliar.

Both parts of the family system are angry that they are not different than they

are. Both parts can transform their anger into healing energy by forgiving

themselves for their judgments.

The one judging the clinger needs to forgive themselves for judging themselves

and the other at a clinger and coward. There is something in themselves that they

fear is clinging too much and is a coward.

The clinger needs to forgive themselves for judging themselves as a clinger.

They also need to forgive themselves for judging themselves as a coward. As

the system begins to heal other names to forgive will show up. They will find

this a neverending process. An upward spiral replacing their downward spiral.

9 Jun 98 [313.00]

"Overanxious Disorder". This is the "Worrier". This is the one with pains

from non physical causes.

We all worry some. We all have pains from our worries. Like everything

else it is a matter of degree. The amount of worry and pain can be put on a

scale from none to totally. The problem is getting stuck in worrying. When

we see someone worrying we usually tell them not to worry. They usually

worry more. A wise person will tell them to worry totally. A wise person

will tell them that they are not worrying enough. This will tend to help them

unstick themselves.

Their judgments have also stuck them where they are. It is always wise

to start to learn how to forgive and to drop our judgments.

At the core of the worrier is a philosophy that they are losing and that

everyone else is losing. They and everyone else are going to hell in a

handbasket, from their view of life. This is called the lose lose personality.

I have a slide on the worrier in my presentation on more effective prayer.

Drop by when you are interested.

10 Jun 98 [307.10]

"Anorexia Nervosa" Basically this is fear of fat. Fat represents energy.

Energy is anger and accomplishment. So, there may be fear of their anger

and fear of their accomplishments. They are often in difficult family systems

that need them to focus the attention of the family on them. With this focus

they fear showing their power, energy.

Any of us that fear fat can start our spiritual healing process by forgiving

ourself as a fearful person. We can affirm ourselves as a courageous person.

We can forgive ourselves for judging fat people. We can forgive ourselves

for judging ourselves as hiding people. We can forgive ourselves for judging

ourselves as failures. We can forgive ourselves for misjudging ourselves as

a failure. We all have some of these challenges, the only question is the matter

of degree.

11 Jun 98 [307.51]

"Bulimia Nervosa" Binge eating compulsion followed by compulsive

binge release of the food. Desire to be thin and fear of fat. Compulsion

to be thin yet to consume that what you fear followed by compulsion to

release that which you fear. This is stuck in a pattern of desire and fear.

What is behind the desire to be thin? What is behind the desire to eat?

What is behind the desire to reject what you desire? What is behind the

fear of fatness? What is behind the fear of being empty? What is behind

the fear of feeling too full?

I does not matter what is behind these desires and fears because

these desires and fears are what they are stuck in. What matters is that

they learn how to forgive the names behind their fears and desires. Out

of that will come new fears and desires. Out of that will come new names

to forgive. Out of that will come new affirmations to use. Out of all this

will come a recovery process, when they work their process. We all can

learn from this generic process of forgiving the names behind our fears

and desires. We all can learn from this generic process of new affirmations

to replace our fears and desires we are stuck in.

12 Jun 98 [307.52]

"Pica" Eating nonnutritive things. A need of the unconscious part to

consume something. A way of forgiving something. It may be helpful to forgive

themselves for judging themselves as that nonnutritive thing.

[307.53] "Rumination Disorder of Infancy" Where there is regurgitation

without nausea and gastrointestinal illnesses. Since this is an infant it may be

helpful for the parents to forgive themselves as regurgitators. They are in a

family system and can help that way.

[307.50] "Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified" Like self induced

vomiting without binging. Another fear of fatness. Another fear of energy.

Like Anorexia Nervosa with menses. Where there is less fear of being

female. Less to forgive. It is not whether we have a "Disorder" or not when

we meet a set of criteria. We have some of it when we meet some of it.

We just have less to recover from.

13 Jun 98 [302.60]

"Gender Identity Disorder of Childhood" There is an insistence

that they will grow up to be the opposite sex. There is an insistence

in identification with the opposite sex. This is an extreme example

of a difference between what is and what they want. This is anger,

rage, big time. These souls have fears of being what they have and

desires to be what they do not have. Coming to terms with what is, is

the challenge that we all face.

A first steps for this "disorder" is to forgive themselves for judging

themselves as the sex they are. Another step is to assert that they are

learning to love the sex they are and the sex they are not. A child with

this challenge may need a lot of coaching in the many skills of forgiveness,

assertiveness, creativity, and teamworking.

We all have the challenge of learning to love both our feminine aspects

and masculine aspects. We all have the challenge of using both aspect in

the form of one or the other body type, with a few exceptions that have

both forms.

14 Jun 98 [302.50]

"Transsexualism". Same as Gender Identity Disorder when they are

after puberty. Same solutions to start getting unstuck. Their attention is

stuck on the opposite sex. Where our attention is, is important. Giving

our attention to the Holy Spirit is key to our recovery. Turning our

attention over to something we may not believe in is a walk of faith. But

turning our attention over to the Holy Spirit is a way to find more than

faith. This is a way to know what is by acting as if that is what is.

Have a happy Sunday, perhaps a good day to turn our attention

over to our lord most high within us and to let our attention be controlled

by the lord most high within us. How else to get to know how this lord

most high within us loves us and wants us to experience a life of continuing

improving spiritual health, wealth and happiness.

Your Wellness Coach,

Michael Foster, M. A.

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

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I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

I am including Sunday as it is my formal day of learning the lord most high's secrets. If you would like ask questions, or contribute some of your wisdom, or want to make some comments or want to vote for which day to put on my tip of the month page or tell your success stories, click Michael Foster, M. A.

27 May 98

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