Steps on the Road to Recovery

Steps On the Road to Recovery for 17 to 23 Aug 98.

Published Last Week. A daily hint published each day since June 1996. This is past my second year anniversary since starting this site. Page Down for the next days that are added a day at a time. I have moved to http://recoverybydiscovery.com and this daily page is now here at https://www.recoverybydiscovery.com/daily.htm . I would appreciate any feedback, questions and suggestions that you have.

What I am going through now is the DSM-III-R Desk Reference a "disorder" at a time and commenting on the spiritual and recovery aspects. The DSM is what the American Psychiatric Association uses to label symptoms to facilitate communication in their community. Unfortunately, the labeling from the DSM can shut down communication with those seeking temporary assistance and spread the stigmas of mental illness. The DSM can also bring some comfort by telling some that others have had the same experience. I am adding additional comfort by pointing to some ways to start getting out of the "disorders". I am not writing about cures. I am writing about how the cure process works over time. Instantaneous cures can be as traumatic as the original event that generated the disorder or illness.

17 Aug 98

Continuing with schizophrenic delusions of the DSM. Delusions for one, are the

reality of another, and vice versa. It is a matter of degree. When we help one another

with reducing our delusions we tell how we see things and they tell us how they see

things. Over time we can learn from each other and reduce our delusions. This does not

matter, whether this is between a so called schizophrenic and a therapist or between any

friends, or relations.

What kind of delusions might we have? Let us go to the basics of the depths. There

is a theory in physics called something like the zero point theory. It is where everything

comes out of and goes into something that is just full of energy. That "everything" is

particles that make up what we are and what is around us. That "something" is really

spirit in my terms. That "something", is far vaster, than we are in our bodies. This theory

is starting to get some validation. There is something in the August 1998 issue of

Discover magazine on this theory in an article about things going faster than light. What

struck me about this theory was that this theory explained to me why everything is either

a blessing or a blessing in disguise. Either a blessing is coming out of that vast something

or that vast something somehow makes what we thought we wanted into a blessing.

However, that vast powerful something always responds yes to what we consciously and

unconsciously believe, need, and say we are. Sometimes it gets around to what we want

and do not know we want. One of our vast delusions is that we are not part of

something that powerful. Another is that we are not getting what we really believe.

Another is that we do not end up like we say we are and others are. Being in processes

that are letting my delusions go is changing what I am believing and thinking and doing

and perceiving; as it will to anyone that starts taking the small steps towards the same

letting go and letting God.

August 18 1998

Next are hallucinations, where brief ones do not count, per the DSM. When we are

dreaming ,we are hallucinating. There is an emphasis in the DSM on voices, but we all

dream with many voices. The problem with hallucinations is only when our dreams spill

over into the daytime. Again it is a matter of degree.

When some people are injured in certain parts of their heads, they can be very sick or

lose one side and what is left is hallucinating that they are still all right. Witnesses to

crimes are the most unreliable evidence. We simply do not see accurately and have

deluded ourselves that we do see accurately. The more upset we are the less accurate

we are.

Hallucinations come down to a form of upset, a form of anger. That is why learning

the generic spiritual skills of Forgiveness, Assertiveness, Consciousness expansion, and

Teamworking [FACT] will help in this recovery just like in any recovery.

19 August 1998

Hallucinations are when we are "out of our senses"; when we are out of our frame of

reference, our home base, our body. How do I know about hallucinations and

delusions? One way is from my direct experiences with delusions and hallucinations.

When I was recovering from what some doctors thought was "bipolar" or "schizophrenia"

depending on the doctor and the time; I was awake for weeks and got to watch some of

the processes. Since I was trained both as a scientist and as a marine I had unique skills

to learn from the processes. I also had the advantage of knowing that I had precipitated

my so called illnesses by going to a retreat with a Teacher of God. I knew of the

possibilities of my having spiritual healing experiences that others would think of as crazy.

I had read enough from that teacher to know that these processes could be part of my

getting to know spirit and God. That is why I have many different views of mental

illnesses than the doctors that have no direct experiences. You can read about some of

my views here in a letter I once wrote to someone in the movement to reduce the stigmas

of mental illness.

20 August 1998

This is a good time to address the genetic factor from a spiritual perspective. We are

all wounded puppies here. We all have genetic wounds, birth wounds, family wounds,

community wounds and world wounds. From a spiritual point of view, recovery in any

area of our wounds is still the same processes. There is some indication from twins

studies that schizophrenia has a lot of genetic basis. And yet some people with

schizophrenia go into remission. I have watched a homeless person heal his demons.

Healing happens. Even in cases that are thought to be genetic. In the Course in Miracles,

JC says that there is no order in miracles. All miracles are about choosing to love no

matter what and there is no limit to the results.

That is why it is important to learn how to be in a loving relationship with God that

spills over into the rest of our lives. We got our wounds of any type, by distancing

ourselves from God. My experiences on my Road to Recovery have been about learning

how to return home to God. That is not always easy in this wounded world, but it is always

better than staying away from God.

21 August 1998

I am still recovering from hallucinations and delusions. They can also be called projections.

I have a good friend that was experiencing a high level of unfairness. I was experiencing a low

level of unfairness. I also remembered that I was unable to get what I thought was full fairness

when I was in my masters program. I understand them better now, and better appreciate what

they were trying to show me. I was also being unfair to myself and others.

So I put what my friend had told me into the light of the Christ and this is what came to me

this morning. I realized that I was giving a level of unfairness to my wife, so I was receiving that

unfairness back on myself. I thanked my friend for helping me to see the log and or splinters in

my eyes. I had suspected that my unfairness was causing what I was experiencing, but my friend's

story helped me to see and admit that this was the case. It was easier to see the problem in my

friend's case others than in myself. The fancy name for this process is negative and positive

projections. The positive ones are fun to see, but the negative ones are the unpleasant ones to see.

What I have been doing is some new asserting. I have been telling myself that I am enjoying

loving my life and loving my wife. I have been doing better, the more I tell myself that. I still have

a way to go. But, it is more fun learning this than it was before when I thought "they" were being unfair.

A start for me is asserting a million times that "I am forgiving myself for judging myself as an unfair

person." Then there is a trillion times that "I am forgiving myself for misjudging myself and others as

unfair people." Then there is asserting a godzillion million times that "I am enjoying loving myself and

others, and my life, and the lives of others as they are."

So, How have you been consciously and unconsciously unfair to yourself

and others? How has your conscious and unconscious anger caused you to

be unfair? How can you resolve your anger into loving? How can you now

be fair to yourself and to others? These are great questions to keep asking myself.

Of course only a really strong person could win out over their ego in

doing this. The ego will try every trick to get us to not do this. But, This

is the only win that counts.

May you all Live in Love, and keep me in your prayers for me to

do the same.

22 August 1998

I keep a copy of a short essay here on The Relationship Between

Schizophrenia & Mysticism: A Bibliographic Essay by Sandra Stahlman.

I do so just in case I lose track of where this paper is on line and because

my theme is that there are relationships between what the world thinks of

as mental illness and mysticism.

There is a continuum of mystical experiences from none, to totally in that.

There is a continuum of levels to tune into from hell, to heaven. Where one

goes in these wide fields, can depend a lot on where one starts from. I am

going to suggest that these statements could be represented by a triangle.

The base of the triangle would represent the range of starting points from

the Garden of Eden on Earth, to Hell on Earth. As one goes up the triangle

there would be less of a range from negative to positive. At the apex there

would only be oneness and love. I am going to suggest that when one goes

on any mystical trip it would be wise to take a guide like JC along. However

many go on these mystical trips without a wise and experienced guide. That

does not mean that at any time they can not call upon a guide like JC to show

them the ways home. What I am suggesting is that the ways to sanity are

spiritual ways. I am suggesting recovery by discovery of what is.

23 August 1998

Now to discuss some of the specific delusions and hallucinations in the

DSM-III Desk Reference. Interestingly the criteria is that the culture [of

the doctor] determines when it is a delusion or hallucination. The first example

is thought broadcasting. We are all broadcasting thoughts and receiving them

unconsciously. It has to be unconscious, since there are too many thoughts to

receive. Some of us are receiving some of these thoughts. Most people have

read, heard, seen or otherwise came in contact with some examples. It is just

a matter of what we have chosen to tune out of and into.

Another example is of "being controlled by a dead person". That one is

funny to me. I see so many examples of where mom and or dad are carried

around in the heads of their children while they are alive. Why is it strange

that they would continue to be carried around when they are dead? Why is

it strange when they choose to carry around any different personality? I would

not call it wise, but it is common enough to call normal, not that normal is wise.

Now we get to the example of the voices in the head. This one is really

funny. Most of us carry around an inner critic that criticizes us and those around

us. We also have voices of reason, anger, and so on. We have many voices,

depending on the circumstances. We can also be able to create a whole crowd

in ourselves. This was easy to see when we were learning how to deal with

multiple personalities. Most of us could create them, so that we could integrate

them. Some of us already had them. Actually sanity would be better described

as whatever brought peace beyond understanding.

We will continue with these interesting creations that we create within ourselves

next week.

I Foster Discovery and Recovery,

Michael Foster, M. A.

"Learn HOW to recovery by discovering the blocks you need to remove and the actions you need to take and what you need to let go of as your blocks to your blessings."

From my book in process, The Spiritual Cookbook (Generic Recipes for a Better Life)

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I started my daily page, because it is useful for me to look for some recovery tip or secret each day for my spiritual growth. we and I only need one secret to work on and let it work on me each day. They are secrets because they are usually the opposite of what the majority of society teaches. They must be secret because they are not commonly used. A friend of mine once said "Common Sense is not much in Common.". Now that I have grandchildren I am also writing for them. I would have really liked for my grandparents to have passed on what they learned.

I am including Sunday as it is my formal day of learning the lord most high's secrets. If you would like ask questions, or contribute some of your wisdom, or want to make some comments or want to vote for which day to put on my tip of the month page or tell your success stories, click Michael Foster, M. A.

14 August 98